by Jo Salas<\/p>\n
Published in Alimentum, November 2006<\/em><\/p>\n The previous autumn Hugo and Louise had discovered the delights of the Lepista nuda<\/em>, growing in modest glory at the edge of a forest near their town. Hugo had noted the date and entered it into his electronic planner.<\/p>\n \u201cNext weekend, Louise,\u201d he said a year later. It was Sunday afternoon and they were coming home from their walk in the park. Hugo, an emergency room surgeon, was on call, so they couldn\u2019t go far from his hospital. \u201cThat\u2019s when they should be ready. If we go very early Saturday morning we should get there before everyone else.\u201d In southern Germany, where they lived, wild mushroom picking was a seasonal ritual. From early October to mid-November families drove out into the woods and fields, looking with hostility at anyone else whose covered basket might conceal a trove of hideously beautiful treasure instead of a picnic.<\/p>\n \u201cPhilip\u2019s coming on Friday, remember?\u201d answered Louise.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, of course,\u201d said Hugo. He had in fact forgotten. \u201cHow delightful it will be to see him again. Does he like mushrooms? Will he come with us, do you think? We will all gather the mushrooms and then I will cook you both a mushroom feast!\u201d he said grandly.<\/p>\n Louise laughed and tightened her arm around his broad waist. \u201cHe loves them. When we were little we used to gather them at the horse farm where we went riding.\u201d<\/p>\n Hugo snorted. \u201cHorse mushrooms! I am sure he has never eaten the divine Lepista<\/em>!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cProbably not,\u201d agreed Louise.<\/p>\n Louise and Hugo had been married for five years, quietly ecstatic to have found each other in middle age. Louise was a travel writer. They had met at a resort on the newly-accessible coast of Croatia where Hugo had taken a vacation in an unhopeful bid to cheer himself up. It had been like a miracle when the beautiful dark-haired Englishwoman had agreed to have dinner with him, and a further miracle when he learned that she spoke his language well.<\/p>\n Philip, Louise\u2019s brother, was coming to Zurich for a jewelry designers\u2019 expo and would detour across the border to visit them. Philip\u2019s visits were difficult for Hugo. He\u2019d never known a gay man before and he was tense with worry that he would unwittingly say something offensive. He knew, because he was an honest man, that hidden inside his awkwardness was a knot of disdain. He couldn\u2019t help it. Men were made to love women, and do men\u2019s work, not make pretty things out of precious metals and stones, he thought. Hugo\u2019s self-consciousness made him stiff and formal, no matter how Louise assured him that Philip didn\u2019t mind casual references to homosexuality. He and Louise even joked about it, as they joked about almost everything. Hugo thought he might be able to manage the situation better in his own language, although even in German Hugo didn\u2019t know how to tease and sparkle like Philip. But Philip spoke no German. Hugo had to rely on his competent but rather old-fashioned English.<\/p>\n He tried to remind himself how much Louise loved these occasional visits with her younger brother, his beloved Louise, who had brought happiness back into his life. But as soon as he could he\u2019d escape into his study or to the hospital, leaving the two of them to their incomprehensible banter and family anecdotes. \u201cIt\u2019s only for a couple of days,\u201d he\u2019d remind himself, \u201cand then we\u2019ll be ourselves again,\u201d meaning the affectionate, companionable way he and Louise were together.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Philip arrived on Friday evening. Hugo had been at the hospital since mid-afternoon dealing with the aftermath of a bad road accident. A young woman in a sports car had tried to overtake the car in front of her on the two-lane road and had hit an oncoming truck. Serious accidents happened almost every weekend on the narrow local roads heavily traveled by fast cars eager to reach the autobahn. Hugo had a secret sympathy with drivers who, like himself, were impatient with people who obeyed the speed limit. He had learned with difficulty to restrain his driving when Louise was with him.<\/p>\n It took hours of surgery to bring the young driver back from the threshold of death. Hugo took off his gloves and wiped his forehead as she was wheeled away to Intensive Care, hoping he wouldn\u2019t be summoned back in an hour or two. \u201cWe have to watch her carefully for a while,\u201d he told the girl\u2019s haggard parents in the waiting room. \u201cBut she should do well. Don\u2019t worry.\u201d He always had to remind himself that ordinary people were not on familiar terms with mortality the way he and the other medical staff were.<\/p>\n When he arrived home Philip and Louise were drinking wine in the living room. They looked alike, with the same coloring and the same dimple in one cheek when they laughed, though Philip was slender where Louise was curved and statuesque. Philip\u2019s close-cropped dark hair was beginning to recede, Hugo noted, resisting the impulse to stroke his own thick gray tresses.<\/p>\n \u201cSo! Philip!\u201d he said after they\u2019d greeted each other, Hugo forestalling Philip\u2019s hug with a hearty handshake. \u201cHow was your time in Zurich? Did Louise tell you about our plan tomorrow?\u201d<\/p>\n Philip looked questioningly at Louise. \u201cWhat plan, Lou?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, the mushrooms! I\u2019d forgotten. Would you like to join us for an early morning trip to pick mushrooms, Pip?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLovely!\u201d said Philip. \u201cJust wake me up and I\u2019ll be ready. Oh\u2014I brought a little present for you, Hugo.\u201d He rummaged in his soft black leather knapsack and held up a giftwrapped package. Behind him Hugo could see Louise raising her eyebrows in warning. She was, he knew, remembering Philip\u2019s last gift: a suede shirt which Hugo had given to his anesthetist, who wore such things, as soon as Philip had left.<\/p>\n Inside the box was a piece of jewelry, a cluster of pearls and colorful gems on a snake-like silver chain. Hugo stared at it, knowing he should at least pretend to be pleased. How could Philip imagine he\u2019d wear such a thing?<\/p>\n \u201cOh, sorry!\u201d said Philip, laughing at Hugo\u2019s expression. He took the box gently out of Hugo\u2019s hand and gave it to Louise. \u201cThis is for you, Lou. Here, Hugo, try this one.\u201d He produced another little box. In it was a tiny folding knife, exquisitely made, completely functional. Hugo was relieved. \u201cWell, Philip, how kind you are! This is wonderful. Just the thing for cutting mushroom stalks.\u201d<\/p>\n He ducked into his study and came back with his mushroom book, a marker stuck at the page which showed the graceful Lepista<\/em> in lifelike color. He handed it to Philip, who studied it.<\/p>\n \u201cWait a minute, how can you be sure they\u2019re not these?\u201d He pointed to the poisonous doppelg\u00e4nger on the other page.<\/p>\n \u201cWe will be very, very careful,\u201d said Hugo.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n In the morning Hugo woke with a sense of wellbeing. After a moment\u2019s puzzlement he traced it to the absence of interruption during his sleep. The young woman with the chest injury must have survived the night. Or she\u2019d died. Either way, they hadn\u2019t needed Hugo. He got up quickly. Louise was still asleep under the duvet. Her face was rosy and relaxed. His heart filled with the wonder that still sometimes came to him when he looked at her. \u201cShe loves me! I am no more alone!\u201d<\/em> He shook her gently, then bent down and kissed her cheek until she moaned and stirred. \u201cGet up, my lovely one,\u201d he whispered. \u201cThe mushrooms are waiting for us. And I have an idea!\u201d Louise stretched, her eyes still closed. Hugo was impatient to tell her. \u201cDo you want to hear what my very good idea is? Do you?\u201d She nodded in the middle of a yawn. \u201cWe will have a competition. I on one side, you and Philip on the other. We will see who gathers the most mushrooms, England or Germany!\u201d He reached out for her hands and pulled her up out of bed. \u201cI will go and make some coffee to bring in the thermos.\u201d<\/p>\n The morning was cool and damp with mist hanging low over dark treetops. Hugo hummed as he drove. Louise and Philip dozed.<\/p>\n \u201cHere we are, damen und herren!\u201d he called as he pulled into the empty parking lot at the head of a little lake. They climbed out of the car.<\/p>\n \u201cNow,\u201d Hugo said, looking at his watch. \u201cIt is exactly 6:45. I will go up that way and you will take the other path, that way.\u201d He pointed. \u201cThere are plenty of mushrooms in both places. We will meet back here at 7:45. And we shall see who has the most. In case we cannot tell by looking, we will weigh them when we get back to the house.\u201d<\/p>\n Philip mock-saluted and clicked his elegant boot-heels together. Louise took the basket Hugo held out.<\/p>\n \u201cOK, Hugo,\u201d said Philip. \u201cWe\u2019ll be here. But watch out, Lou and I are a top-hole fungus team when we put our minds to it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTop-hole?\u201d repeated Hugo, but they were giggling as they walked away and didn\u2019t hear him. Hugo buttoned up his raincoat against the drizzle and strode into the sparse forest, his eyes seeking out any tiny flashes of white or color that might reveal a fungus. He was after the Lepista nuda<\/em>\u2014he was sure he would find it\u2014but there was no reason to overlook the other treasures he might stumble upon as well.<\/p>\n The woods were silent in the early morning. Hugo smiled to himself. Those mushroom lovers who were too lazy to get up early would regret their slothfulness. He walked up the side of the slope, pausing now and then to investigate a growth, picking some, rejecting others as dangerous imitators. The bottom of his basket was covered even before he emerged from the trees into the open field where the Lepista<\/em> grew amongst the remains of the summer\u2019s harvest. A feeble sun broke through the low clouds to illuminate an archipelago of pale violet-colored shapes poking up through tangled stalks. The air smelt of rain and fragrant decay. Hugo looked around. He was alone in the field. He bent down to the patch closest to him and began picking.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n At ten past seven Hugo covered his basket with the clean linen cloth he\u2019d brought in his pocket and clambered down to the parking lot, getting there at exactly 7:45. Louise and Philip were not in sight. He frowned, but immediately forgave them for being late. They\u2019d be chattering so hard that they probably wouldn\u2019t notice the time. Anyway, Hugo thought, he\u2019d be very surprised if they had had anything like his own success. He sat on the hood of the car and poured a cup of coffee from the thermos.<\/p>\n \u201cHugo!\u201d called Louise\u2019s voice. \u201cHere we are! Look what we\u2019ve got!\u201d She and Philip were each holding a handle of their basket, staggering with its weight. Hugo had a moment of alarm until he realized they were clowning. Philip grabbed the basket from Louise and held it above his head, laughing. \u201cDon\u2019t worry, Hugo!\u201d To his relief, they seemed genuinely impressed by Hugo\u2019s cache in spite of their frivolity. \u201cWell, Germany wins, no question about it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt does not matter,\u201d he said magnanimously. \u201cThey are all for all of us.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n In the afternoon Hugo sat down at the table with the mushrooms sorted into piles of the different species they had all gathered, the fairy-like Laccaria amethystina<\/em>, the phallic Coprinus comatus<\/em>, a few Agaricus silvicola, <\/em>and other delicacies. With his sensitive surgeon\u2019s hands he wiped each one clean of dirt. He opened the big mushroom book, the definitive guide, studying the listing for each fungus. Louise leaned over his shoulder. The necklace Philip had brought her glowed around her neck. \u201cWhy, Hugo? We already know what they are, don\u2019t we?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, Louise, but I want to be quite, quite sure. So we can eat them with full enjoyment and no worry.\u201d He didn\u2019t mind. It was fascinating to read about each one, with its idiosyncratic shapes and colors and habits of growth. And about the treacherous look-alikes that often grew near them, tempting the unwary to illness or death like spiteful fairies of the forest. Every year there were mushroom-eaters who died, and they weren\u2019t necessarily ignorant idiots, either. Hugo felt a stirring deep in his belly at the undeniable danger of this feast, but he reminded himself, severely, that he was eliminating any risk whatsoever.<\/p>\n It was almost an hour and a half later when Hugo got up from the table and stretched. \u201cWell! I am ready,\u201d he called up the stairs. Louise had taken Philip to look at the photos from her recent trip to Sicily where, alone, she\u2019d explored one remote village after another in her intrepid way. Her Italian was almost as fluent as her German. Hugo had occasionally traveled with her, marveling at how she could make conversation with strangers no matter how alien or bizarre they seemed.<\/p>\n Hugo listened to them exclaiming and laughing. He wasn\u2019t sure they\u2019d heard him. He suppressed a flicker of annoyance. Louise by herself would have come instantly. \u201cLouise?\u201d he called a little louder. \u201cShall we drink some wine?\u201d He opened a bottle of the wine he\u2019d chosen for the occasion, a lively Muscadet with a tiny bubble to it, and poured three glasses. The others came down the stairs still talking about Sicily.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, Hugo?\u201d said Philip, putting an arm around his shoulder. \u201cWhat do you think? Safe to eat?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCertainly,\u201d said Hugo with dignity, pulling away. He picked up his glass. \u201cI drink to your good health.\u201d He clinked their glasses, looking into one pair of blue-gray eyes after the other, then took the bowls of mushrooms into the kitchen. He tied Louise\u2019s striped apron around his middle and looked over her collection of enameled iron frying pans, choosing the biggest and heaviest of them. Hugo hummed softly as he heated olive oil and carefully chopped the first batch. He\u2019d decided that they would begin with the Laccaria.<\/em> A perfect first step for the journey into the many-flavored kingdom of the wild mushroom. He filled his wine glass again and stole a tiny taste of the Laccaria. <\/em>Wine and mushrooms. Surely the gods must have banqueted like this.<\/p>\n \u201cOur first dish will be ready in one minute,\u201d he called. \u201cPlease sit down.\u201d The perfume of the mushrooms was already filling the living room. Louise and Philip sat at the candle-lit table. Outside the sky was fading to darkness.<\/p>\n Hugo stood holding the pan like an offering with both oven-mitted hands.<\/p>\n \u201cAren\u2019t you going to sit down?\u201d asked Louise.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, my dear lady, tonight I am the cook.\u201d He ladled the delicate-stalked fungi onto their plates. \u201cI will eat as I cook.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd drink too,\u201d said Philip, holding out his glass for a re-fill.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd drink,\u201d agreed Hugo.<\/p>\n \u201cOh heavenly!\u201d said Louise, her mouth full of Laccaria amethystina<\/em>. \u201cGorgeous, Hugo!\u201d<\/p>\n He smiled modestly. \u201cAnd this is only the beginning, remember!\u201d Back in the kitchen the tall Coprinus comatus<\/em> were ready for their turn in the big pan. Hugo sang the toreador\u2019s song from Carmen <\/em>as the mushrooms jumped and sizzled. He paused to open a new bottle of wine.<\/p>\n \u201cHugo?\u201d Philip raised his voice so Hugo could hear. \u201cWe are absolutely sure, absolutely<\/em> sure, aren\u2019t we, that none of these are poisonous?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPoisonous?\u201d Hugo answered from the kitchen. \u201cI do not think so, Philip. But can one be absolutely <\/em>sure, as you say, of anything in this life? Is not life itself about uncertainty?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, but you know what I mean. Just tell me we\u2019re not going to die tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n Hugo came to the doorway. He held up his wooden spoon. \u201cMy dear boy, who am I to tell when you are or are not going to die? Life is a mystery. Death is a mystery. Death is perhaps very near to us at this moment, but it is not for us humans to know.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, come on, Hugo,\u201d said Louise impatiently. She turned to Philip. \u201cDon\u2019t listen to him, Pip. He\u2019s awfully careful about things like this. He\u2019s a scientist after all. And even if he made a mistake\u2014well, the hospital\u2019s right there.\u201d She gestured to the lights visible half a block away. Hugo had a sudden vision of the three of them being carried into the hospital on stretchers, their skin gray, vomit seeping from their mouths, the emergency room staff aghast\u2014\u201cIt\u2019s Herr Doktor Kaufman!\u201d<\/em> He whistled merrily. It was almost time for the climax of the feast. He stirred the mushrooms gently, taking them off the heat at the precise moment when they were done.<\/p>\n \u201cMay I present\u2014the great Lepista nuda<\/em>!\u201d proclaimed Hugo as he set the yellow pan down on the table. \u201cOr what I truly, with all my heart, believe to be the great Lepista<\/em>! But perhaps the great Entoloma<\/em> instead, in which case this will be our last meal together!\u201d Instead of filling their plates as before, he fed a forkful of the gleaming Lepista <\/em> to Louise and Philip, watching with satisfaction as their eyes widened. Philip moaned. \u201cOh my god, Hugo!\u201d he said. \u201cThis is beyond divine.\u201d He took more. \u201cI don\u2019t even care if it kills me! I think you\u2019re right\u2014what\u2019s life for anyway?\u201d<\/p>\n Louise sighed. \u201cHugo, it\u2019s wonderful,\u201d she said. \u201cYou\u2019re doing a brilliant job. Why don\u2019t you sit down with us?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, no, it is my pleasure to serve you tonight, my love,\u201d said Hugo. He offered more wine, but their glasses were still full. He filled his own glass. \u201cI am the champion of the wine-drinking tonight!\u201d he announced. \u201cI am the picker of the mushrooms, the cooker of the mushrooms, and the champion of the wine!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou certainly are, Hugo, my boy,\u201d said Philip. \u201cI\u2019m surprised you\u2019re still standing.\u201d<\/p>\n Outside it was fully dark. Stars lit up the sky beyond the black silhouette of the hospital. An ambulance siren wailed as it climbed the cobbled streets.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd it is our good luck that I, your humble cook, am not on call tonight!\u201d cried Hugo, stirring more mushrooms as the siren grew louder. \u201cWhoever has broken his head or contracted appendicitis tonight, it is not I who will come to their aid. Tonight I am Mushroom Man! If this were a movie we would not know yet whether I am a goodie or a baddie!\u201d<\/p>\n He brought another panful of mushrooms to the table. Louise put her hand over her plate. \u201cNo, Hugo, honestly, I think I\u2019ve had enough.\u201d<\/p>\n He looked at her carefully. \u201cYou\u2019re just full, liebling? You are feeling all right?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, I\u2019m fine, I\u2019ve just had enough, thank you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cFill me up,\u201d said Philip, holding up his plate. \u201cI can\u2019t say no. I think I\u2019ve found out what heroin must be like. You don\u2019t care what happens, you just have to have it.\u201d<\/p>\n Hugo filled his plate and stood by the table eating from the pan. \u201cAnd we must ask, do we live for fear or do we live for beauty? What is safety compared with pleasure?\u201d He took another mouthful, stuffing the stems in with his fingers. \u201cWould these mushrooms taste so exquisite if their sisters were not murderers?\u201d<\/p>\n Philip lifted his glass. \u201cYes indeed! Here\u2019s to the two-faced fungus! Here\u2019s to dying in good company!\u201d He clinked Hugo\u2019s glass again.<\/p>\n Louise slapped the table. \u201cOh stop it, please, both of you. These mushrooms aren\u2019t dangerous and anyway if they were it\u2019s hardly a joke.\u201d<\/p>\n Philip ignored her. \u201cHugo, I\u2019ll have one more helping but I insist you sit and join me, you master cook and mushroom-picker, you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWith pleasure, dear brother.\u201d He sat down, sighing as the chair took his weight. He realized he\u2019d been on his feet for hours. He let Philip serve him. In unison they ate the garlicky slivers of fungus so intensely flavored that each new mouthful astounded them like the first. \u201cMm-m-m!\u201d moaned Philip and Hugo together.<\/p>\n \u201cListen to the two of you!\u201d said Louise. They cleared the table off together. \u201cLet us leave everything until tomorrow,\u201d instructed Hugo. Louise looked at the mess of plates, pots, wine bottles, and mushroom stems but didn\u2019t argue. He knew what she was thinking. He usually insisted on an immaculate cleaning of the kitchen no matter how tired they were. \u201cIt is for my morning self,\u201d he would remind her. \u201cOtherwise I feel depressed.\u201d<\/p>\n Philip yawned. The hall light flashed on the small faceted topaz he wore in one ear. He kissed Louise. \u201cA night to remember. Vielen Dank, Hugo.\u201d He made a little bow. \u201cTruly magnificent.\u201d<\/p>\n Hugo was flooded with warmth. He embraced Philip, feeling the unfamiliar wiry body against his own for a moment.<\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s agree that if any of us feels ill during the night we\u2019ll wake each other up,\u201d called Philip as Louise and Hugo climbed the stairs. \u201cOK!\u201d said Hugo over his shoulder.<\/p>\n Hugo groaned as he got into bed. \u201cWhat a feast, Louise. My stomach is bursting.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHugo.\u201d Louise turned to him. \u201cYou don\u2019t really think\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, no, I don\u2019t, I was just being silly. I\u2019m certain we\u2019re fine.\u201d<\/p>\n Louise nestled into his side. He held her closely, listening to her breath ease as she slipped quickly into sleep. Every night since they\u2019d been together he\u2019d treasured this moment of their bodies meeting again in the darkness, skin to skin. He lay awake for a long time, not sleepy at all. Life fizzed in his veins like the Muscadet.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" by Jo Salas Published in Alimentum, November 2006 The previous autumn Hugo and Louise had discovered the delights of the Lepista nuda, growing in modest glory at the edge of a forest near their town. Hugo had noted the date and entered it into his electronic planner. \u201cNext weekend, Louise,\u201d he said a year later. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":16,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-412","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry","post-preview"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/josalas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/412","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/josalas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/josalas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/josalas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/josalas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=412"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/josalas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/412\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":414,"href":"https:\/\/josalas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/412\/revisions\/414"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/josalas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/16"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/josalas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=412"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nHugo pushed his chair back from the table and patted his round stomach. \u201cI am full! Full of the food of the gods! I will sleep like the dead tonight!\u201d He looked at Louise, who was not smiling. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, meine liebe.\u201d<\/p>\n